I used to work at a small software company – a startup for sure, with a big old pirate flag and a real life angel investor. All of my coworkers were talented up the wazoo. And not just in the usual ways. Their extracurriculars included things like: wild boar hunting, cabinetry and joinery, ballet, rapping, professional baking, comic strip illustration, violin, beer making, home schooling, and competitive curling. Fucking curling.
A wonderful side effect of working with such high-functioning talented people was figuring out how to write appropriate feedback in peer reviews. That’s what we called them any way. Not employee reviews. Peer reviews.
Chewie
I’ve known and worked with Chewie since ****. Once in LA, he bought me the greatest chocolate chip cookie I ever had. It was a little place called the Coffee Commissary. A funny thing about him is that he’s a little klutzy, which is odd, because he’s an outstanding rock climber. One year, at one of our summits, he nearly killed our CFO when a horseshoe came flying out of his hands. Total accident, no one got hurt. And despite being very fit, he was, and continues to be a genuine fan of the crap food at Panda Express.
Review Excerpt
“Chewie is like a f***ing force of nature. Once, when we were on site at ****** Brothers for a meeting regarding ****, an intern approached him with a simple question - “Why do you smell like that?”. Chewie turned around, whispered something I couldn’t hear, then tore a phone book in f***ing HALF. Not literally of course, but with his eyes he did this –– then strongly urged everyone to take a three hour lunch.
I would entrust my first born child to Chewie’s care, and if it were within my power, would commission a sword of the finest steel to be crafted, bearing his likeness rendered in the hilt from mother of pearl fetched out of the Sea of Japan, laden with Etruscan engravings along the blade, and the three known remaining teeth of Saint Peter. I would furthermore, gift him the finest incense and sweet meats available - perhaps taken from the lunch menu of Panda Express Burbank (the one on Magnolia Blvd, not Hollywood Way). ”